Most of the time my art is a reflection of my heart. My emotions are like a roller coaster lately so the best thing for me to do in my grief is be cath"ART"ic!
I feel... I think... I spew! It keeps me sane.
I have a horrible habit of overthinking things & letting little things become HUGE things after running through my imagination. My mind is always making "movies" of my life & future that do nothing but lead to false hopes and dreams. Call me crazy or out of control, it's the curse of a creative spirit I guess. My mind is always on the move. But, knowing my flaws well, I choose to switch the track over and get it right in a more positive & productive direction.
I am disillusioned to believe that my dead-end hopes and dreams will go anywhere under my control. Nothing I envision alone ever turns put how I imagined! So why do I do it? Cause it is entertaining temporarily, but eventually painful.
So, like I repeat to myself DAILY...
let Him Lead!!!
I know this! But it sure is hard. But once I have been let down by my own reality enough times, I realize if I relinquish my dreams to His plan... He has something better planned that is beyond my wildest dreams! I just have to let go of the steering and trust His breath & light to blow my sail & light my way.