Faith, Fun, Fashion, & Family

Faith, Fun, Fashion, & Family

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Being Happy Being the REAL You!

Being Happy Being the REAL You!

Ok, my weight is a very personal subject (as with any woman... or person), so it took a while to be able to get to a comfortable place in my life for me to share such things. I have seen myself as "fat" since people started calling me that in 2nd grade. "Tubby Tabby" was the name given to me by my crush that year. My body image just went downhill from then. It overlapped way into adult hood. I struggled .. But, I feel now is as good of time as ever considering I have lost 70+ pounds, had 2 babies, then got it back off again. I am not bragging about this, I am just glad to be me... the real me! The ME God wants me to be, the me God CREATED ME TO BE!

I don't know about other people, but I do know that when I was obese (scientifically speaking) I was not happy. No matter how much I tried to fake happiness, I felt trapped! I was "me" living beneath something heavier than myself. That heaviness was holding me back and keeping the "real me" captive from doing things I wanted to do. My passions were put on hold, my activity was shortened, and my personality was filtered.
Here are some true feelings I had and thought I produced about myself before...
Left: My "big" sister, her husband Luke, and their new baby Beau (2003)
Right: My husband Shannon and me... the "little sister...
after eating Mexican food.

1. I felt like people looked at me next to my sister
and thought I was the one who just had the baby...
2. I LOVE CLOTHES! always have...
I would find something i loved and could not fit into the largest size available...
so I had to settle for stuff I just kinda liked that fit.
3. I hated looking in the mirror...
4. My wardrobe consisted of lots of jackets to hide beneath...
and shoes since they always fit.
5. I never wanted to see people from high school cause I knew they were thinking 
"She really let herself go!".
6. I wanted to do things adventurous, but was too big... 
so I pretended to not be adventurous. 
These things may seem harsh, but they are all true. I was holding back.
Some people are big and ok with it, that is awesome! I admire that!
These brave girls rock despite being larger... that is so awesome!
They truly inspire me to be careless about what others may think... wear without a care...
These ladies are not inhibited by their size. They embrace it & I love it! And they look good being themselves..
But, we are all different in our skin. I was big and I just was not happy. I did not feel like I was who I was designed to be... my confidence was shot.
I tried to work out and move my booty a little (actually loved it), but never changed the way I ate or any other aspect of my lifestyle. 
Then I found out what worked...                                                                                              

It's not a miracle or a secret formula... sorry.
What it is is sacrifice...
My Creator gave the greatest sacrifice...
I love my Creator, He loves me.
He wants to make sure I respect myself so that I am in turn respecting his creation. 
He gave this body I carry around, and he desires me to carry it well.
People get it all wrong, they think God does not care about our physical form when I think He really does. 
He wants to see us sacrifice our cravings, second plates, and overindulgence for Him our of respect and love. We feel loved when we see it proven to us by a sacrifice... right? 
There I was 26 years old, 5'8 and 230 pounds.
Feeling pathetic daily and sorry for myself secretly...
I was struggling and in need of some help.

During my struggle to get fit in order to have children...
I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. 
My doctor told me I had gestational diabetes (typical for obese women) and needed to go on a special diet. 
I did it out of love for my baby any myself. I did not want to be a big mom. I don't want my kids to see me that way and have them think I am ok with it. I wanted to crawl, roll,climb, and move around with my children. I want them to learn from me to be the best they can be, what God designed for them spiritually and physically. I want them to care for themselves. We have to practice what we teach.
I made a choice to NEVER EVER EVER go back to "Tubby Tabby". 
I did not want to return to those feelings (1-6).

So, when my beautiful blessing Maisy was born on March 29, 2007...
things changed!
Maisy 2 years old, being who God intended her to be...
After spending 3 months on my gestational diabetic diet during pregnancy, 
I left the hospital delivery room already 30 pounds smaller than my pre-pregnancy weight!
I was so amazed! and motivated to say the least...
I was happy to be that size, but something amazing happened after that. 
My husband wanted to join Weight Watchers... what?!
I never ever even heard him once complain about his weight. 
I thought he had an awesome self esteem... but I guess he was hiding just like me.

So, we did it together. We joined Weight Watchers. 
In one year I lost 45 more pounds (75 total) than after Maisy's birth. 
I could not have done it without Shannon as part of my team.
I loved the accountability of weighing in and the plan was awesome. 
So awesome I am still doing it!

Us at our skinniest (?) right before taking Maisy to her first movie.. Shrek.

I think I look slim here, after having 2nd child, Madelynn

On a date night downtown...
So, I am now proud to look at myself, happy when I go shopping, not ashamed to see people from my past, and not avoiding things I wanted to do before, but felt unable to do. 
Ask yourself, are you who you want to be?
Then ask yourself...
Are you who GOD created you to be?

God doesn't care what you look like, i know that...
BUT, He does care if your health gets in the way of who he designed you to be. 
He wants you to live for Him. He wants you to care about your body and take care of it as a gift. 
It is for real. He is your Maker, your designer. 

You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength!
I did...

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Now that you know the truth, follow it. 

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" .James 4:17

Teach it to your children. Be an example.

"The application of this Scripture is very simple. When we honor God's commandment with our mouth but practice something else, we are guilty of sin in that we make null and void the word of God." Clarke C. Buzzbee from Truth Magazine

You are now responsible...

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