Up in the Air...

Grieving is such an emotional roller coaster. It's been over a year since Shannon, my husband of 10 years, left for Eternal Paradise. There is peace in knowing that it was all part of God's plan. I know Shannon is up there with our Father preparing a place for us to go after here... But the part that grieves me the most is mostly self pity in whats left here on Earth for us to sort through. Just because the biggest bump in the ride is behind us doesn't mean we won't be thrown for loops ahead. They seem to come from nowhere... 

Ok... So just when I am starting to feel "happy" again, I am struck with panic and fear! New love is here with words of comforting promise... But I can't seem to shake a fear of moving forward in life. Right now my life is so "up in the air" and I am deeply desiring a place to land and re-root. It's hard to relax at times when you know your life is in a sort of transport stAte and there's nothing beneath but air just whisping through your dangling roots. Even scarier is knowing there's young life in the basket with you that is depending on you to comfort them in the time you are feeling craziest of all. 

The sad part is thAt through this life I've grown a little tougher & realer... And in the process grown to fear happiness. It seems that at that sudden moment in life when your heart takes a snap shot of all you hold and grasps the true meaning of happiness in life... Well, it all kind of crumbles away. Happiness is fleeting and temporary. It's a glimpse you soak in and remember in contrast to the crumbles. I was happy and know I will be again. But I realize too, that when happiness is only a worldly & temporary emotion... Joy is an everlasting spirit deep reality that is soaked so far into the root of me... That no matter where my life floats to, this Joy can never be removed from my spirit. Planted or plummeting... It follows me everywhere. My life is not defined by my circumstances that come and go, but is defined only by what my spirit roots eternally contain. 

Poem below & styrofoam breakfast plate art wAs created in a meeting that I lost control of my emotions in. Roller coaster emotions can not be planned out. You may cry in the middle of the check out line of a grocery store and have to abandon a cart of frozen food to get it all together in a private stall of a public bathroom! Who knows... But the point is that if we are "afraid" to cry loud in a crowd... Then we are cowards. It is those thAt cry in the midst of pride that find an unexplainable strength and power in just letting go.

So, after my panic attack... Roller coaster loop... Freak out session... Pity party...Or whatever  you want to label it, I had no choice but to grab the empty white things around me and fill them up with my mark, my art, my voice, my spirit, my faith, my feelings... I just let it all out. 

Take it from me... A young widow, single mom, starting life over lady; 

Don't be afraid grieving souls to Just take a cry... Take a breathe! When living day by day is too much , live breath by breath. When you can't breathe... When you feel like your drowning, Ask Him that rotates the Earth to breath for you & on you. Let Him give your spirit CPR, take you where you need to go. Let go of life and let Him carry you with His invisible love. For it is the things that we cannot see here on this EArth that will remAin in eternity. Joy, peace, love. Have faith in things that are beyond sight. Test your trust... In the breath of the One who gave you your first breath. 

Passion for Hot Air Balloons spills over into my classroom life.... 

see art lessons plans on this top here. 

http://tabithaannthelostsock.blogspot.com/2014/11/hot-air-balloon-unit.html

I don't belong here...

When I was spiritually transformed 5 years ago, my views were also greatly changed. My creative side, my mothering, my teaching, my attitude, my likes, EVERYTHING changed! There was no denying Christ was now residing inside of me. 

 See my Spiritual Autobiography Comic here...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/03/supertab-autobiographical-comic-of-my.html

This changing does not sit still, but grows bigger and stronger as life moves on. Each circumstance, good or bad, just proves validity to His supernatural presence and power more and more in my life. Since my young husband of ten year, Shannon Seaton, unexpectedly passed away 5 months ago, my perspective has changed immensely. I feel as though I am seeing the world we live in from a higher plane, through the eyes of Heaven. Suddenly, things that were so important to me before I let slip by. And things that I let slip by before have become my main desire. Each thing, activity, creation, friendship or even that I am involved in is weighed on a spiritual scale. Does this bring life to me or another person? Does this matter in the end? Does this only lead to vanity or selfish desires? Does this get in the way of His plan for me and my family?

My sight is on Heaven and towards things that last forever. 

I respect honest people more than ever and have a heightened sense of discernment in people's character.

Are my friendships bringing me down, am I lifting others up, or are they leading nowhere? 

I feel as though I have one foot in Heaven, my eternal home and one here on Earth, my temporary home. 

I feel as though my husband did not leave me here in grief, but went ahead of me to renew my hope.

I will meet him again soon, but until I do I have to make the most of this world. I have to fight to show the truth, be kind to those around me, and share His love through my own. 

I am here to love and save, not judge or condemn. 

I don't belong here, but I am here for a reason and will live in His Plan.

I will follow His path to the end. I started it with Him and will end it with Him.

He is the Alpha and Omega, the author and finisher of my life.

I will run this Race of Faith, 

"Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..." Hebrews 12:1-2

If we are truly and sincerely living in Christ, we should have senses that doesn't match up with those of this world. When I am living and walking closely with Christ (a daily practice and honest struggle), I feel like things of this world lose importance. The worldly things are temporary, but normal people greatly vale them (money, fame, luxury, etc.). These things do nothing for our joy or spirit and only temporarily bring us fading happiness. This walk is daily, taking in daily bread (His word), and intimate moments everyday to keep in constant communication with Our Leader. We cannot zone out friends!

 Our head should be in Heaven's clouds... not the worlds smoke and mirrors.

THIS WORLD BELONGS TO SATAN

1 John 5:19

"And we know that we are of God, and the whole world is under the power of the evil one."

I AM AN ALIEN HERE

"Dear friends, I warn you as "temporary residents and foreigners" to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls".

1 Peter 2:11

I AM A CITIZEN OF HEAVEN

"But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior there, the Lord Jesus Christ:"

Philippians 3:20

I DO NOT LOVE THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD... they are temporary.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. 
Matthew 6:19-24

art by Tabitha Seaton

SERVE ETERNITY or FALL FOR THE TEMPORARY

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money"

Matthew 6:24

art by Tabitha Seaton

WHO ARE YOU HERE TO PLEASE... The Creator or His Creation?

"If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet, because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you" 

John 15:19

HIS WORD IS NOT POPULAR!

"I have given them Your word, and the world has hated them because [Your words] are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of this world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world,"

John 17:14

This image below is the one I used for the above
"I don't belong here..." drawing. Awkward!

P.S.
Dear D.H, Brother in Christ.
I do not think of you as a sneaky snake, but a unfortunate frozen friend.
We will continue on the other side, when we get Home.
In His Love and Light,
Tabitha