Guide to Finding Love

These images have been dug deep from my heart as a guide to anyone looking for a closer relationship to Love. I spent my life (till the age of 29) knowing God was there, but only feeling Him from a distance. This created a hole in my heart that I was continually trying to fill with things of this world.

 I was left unsatisfied...

I did not know how to find Love.

 But, Now I do.

Once I found Love and it overflowed in my life, I began writing out my testimony.

It is unfinished, as God is not finished with me. 

But I am working on the emotional time of readiness to dive back into completing the book soon.

My Illustrated Testimony shows the importance of finding love in my life.

It was something I never knew how to do until I was taught how, 

It changed my life.

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/03/supertab-autobiographical-comic-of-my.html

HOW THE SCRIPTURE TELLS US TO....

FIND LOVE. 

BE STILL INSIDE

This is the hardest part! To sit down, be still and listen... near impossible. If it's not the kids, spouse, work, dogs or surroundings that distract us... it's our own minds! Our mind gets filled with thought of the Earth; paying bills, getting taxes filed, getting the dogs their shots, feeding the children... whatever. We can't possibly hear

 His Still Small Voice (1 Kings 19:11-13) if we have a thousand other voices trying to make us anxious. Satan knows this... so... he likes to whisper words of doubt to keep us busy all day long. It's easy to fear things that you cannot control. This even happened to Jesus, yes, really. He had times of anxiety that he had to escape the world in order to hear his Father's voice. But there's somebody that wants to help...

 

My art (above)

God wants to take our burdens, 

calm us down, give us peace and free us from anxiety that binds us.. He says so.

Matthew 11:28-30

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jamie Grace sings about it here...

LOVE THIS SONG!

https://youtu.be/3lBtnreAcAE

Psalm 46:10
He says, "Be still, and know that I am God:"

Here are times when Jesus had to be alone, escape people, be 

still and quiet to hear His Father's voice...

And early in the morning, while it was still dark, He arose and went out and departed to a lonely place, and was praying there. 

( Mark 1:35)

And immediately He made His disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side to Bethsaida, while He Himself was sending the multitude away. And after bidding them farewell, he departed to the mountain to pray.

 ( Mark 6:45-46)

And they came to a place called Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit here until I have prayed." And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. And He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch." And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground, and began praying.

 ( Mark 14:32-34)

And when day came, He departed to a lonely place; and the multitudes were searching for Him, and came to Him, and tried to keep Him from going away from them.

 ( Luke 4:42)

But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.

 ( Luke 5:16)

And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God. ( Luke 6:12)

from Super Tab (above) 

My art (above)

LET THE EARTH MELT AWAY

I know when I'm on a mission to hear God's voice, I get distracted by the world around me... things around me that I feel touching my skin, things I see around me that are unsettling, things I hear that try to pull me away or make me loose concentration... pretty much every human sense can cause me to stray away from my mission. The world is physical. God is spiritual. He is inside us... deep and quietly waiting.

John 4:24

"God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth."

1 John 2:15

"Do not love the world or anything in the world.

 If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 

Romans 12:2

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to discern what is good, pleasing and perfect will of God."

2 Corinthians 4:18

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, 

but what is unseen is eternal. 

IMAGINE A NEW PLACE

Psalm 23:1-6

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul. 

He guides me along the right paths for His name's sake. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 

I will fear no evil, for You are with me:

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil: my cup overflows. 

Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, 

and will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

from SuperTab (above)

SEEK LOVE

1 John 4: 

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

We could try our whole lives to find love from the Earth. Earthly love will fail. It can try to do the job, but will come short every time. People disappoint, let us down, discourage us... I know through God relationships can be healed. I know it. But it is THROUGH GOD, that it can be healed. His love through us, our pride aside with our forgiving hearts humbled. Without God, without LOve, it is impossible. So, before you can try to seek love from things, pets, or people of the earth... 

He is the source of where it all comes from.

Seek Him... He will be there. 

It is His deepest desire.

Jeremiah 29:12-14
"Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
I will be found by you, declares the Lord"

Matthew 7:7
Ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.

Deuteronomy 4:29
"But from there you will seek the LORD your God,
and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul."

from SuperTab (above)

It was here, for the first time I met with Jesus. 

I asked Him the questions in my heart. 

He filled my emptiness and overflowed my heart holes with abundant spiritual satisfaction. 

These were holes nobody on this earth knew were there, not even me. Only my Creator knew. 

He showed me hurts I had buried deep and hid away until i forgot they were there. He restored my soul, just as His word said. 

His promises are true. 

I pray with all my heart that you will find time to be alone to meet Him in your secret place of Peace. 

It is what Jesus said ever time He met with His disciples, "Peace be with you..".

The Holy Spirit is here for that very reason. I big price was paid so that you could have that Peace with you always and everywhere. Let go of the world and find what really matters.

What will last for an eternity when all the things that we worry about are gone and over... 

He will be there waiting. He is there waiting now.

Being Patience for His Gifts... my first Christmas as a young widow.

This will be our first Christmas without having Shannon here.

My husband, Shannon, passed away almost five months ago and I have been dreading Christmas since. He LOVED Christmas.

As a woman of faith, hope set in very soon after Shannon past. Instead of looking back, I looked forward. Although I was missing Shannon, I was looking forward to what God had planned for us. His plan was a total mystery to me. Why did He take Shannon? Why now? These were not questions rooted in doubt or hate, but mystery, curiosity and excitement. I could not even understand my own emotions because to this natural world, they seem odd. Even to me, a woman of faith, I questioned my grief. Was I doing it right? How was I excited so soon into it all? I still do not know, except for the fact that I have a close connection to Christ. When I found Shannon on the lawn where he passed, I felt a flood of peace run over me as I prayed in the Spirit over him. I think this was a gift God gave me. That is all I can give as an explanation. The world may think I am heartless to be so accepting & understanding soon after my husband passed, but it's MY grief. 

Through my experience, it's not lacking heart...it is more like 

GOD HAS MY HEART and HE GIVES ME PEACE.

After about a month, I began to be very anxious about my future. 

I wrote many blog post about this feeling and made many videos about it as well (see below). 

It was intense! I was a little worried about being alone FOREVER and having to be single. 

I was dependent on Shannon for SO MUCH! He spoiled me with love, encouragement, care, cleaning, cooking, bills, and lots more for us as a family. He worked hard and now it was me having to take all I knew (very little) and all my strength to work, raise my family, and keep up with all life requires. I was not used to being in charge!

I was lost... and incredibly lonely. 

I wanted to have something happen NOW! I knew I wanted to follow His plan, but kept asking Him to hurry it up! I "hear" God's voice often. This is because I open up to Him regularly, not matter what the circumstance or mood I may be in.  Like a loving father, When I would question His ways... He would give me a wise answer. He began showing me in my mind a caterpillar entering a pupa state and resting. I understood what He meant, tried to rest up and let Him transform me, but it was not fun... it was lonely. I wanted to move, have excitement, look forward to something, LIVE! I did not really like the idea of being a fat lazy caterpillar, so I kinda ignored this Heavenly vision. I still asked God, hoping for a different answer. The second time, He showed me a beautiful lit up Christmas tree in the corner of our living room with Shannon's green lounge chair stretched a distance away. The tree was fixed up just like Shannon would have set it up if he were here. God showed me the presents beneath and told me they were the gifts He promised me for our future. He let me know that he DID have big plans for me and my family. But, that for now, He wanted me to not worry about them and focus on the moment at hand. I could wonder and be excited, but not worry or try to impatiently plan my own gifts. He told me that even if I did open the gifts now, I would not be able to use, appreciate, or understand them. He has to teach me slowly all His ways before I can comprehend his plan and the gifts it contains. He told me that instead of sitting by the tree waiting, there was a way to make it "faster". He wanted me to sit with Him in Shannon's green chair and just look at the tree with Him. Just be still, peaceful, and talk to Him while we waited... together. I did like this idea better than the caterpillar... But still, my Heavenly Father was not giving His spoiled little girl the answer she wanted... 

I don't want to SIT STILL! I want it my way and fast! 

(Verruca Salt style)

So, I guess you could say I somewhat ventured on my own to find ways to "fill" my desires. Filling my life with things that made me temporarily happy and less lonely. Unknowingly, these things became my "God" and a lesser form of Idolatry. When I left His will. I left Him for a bit. I was not talking to Him anymore. Or, when I tried, it was just awkward and insincere. I had no peace. 

So, I prayed my pruning prayer... a prayer I often do when I am seriously seeking His will.

see here...

Video and Past Blog Post

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDoF_x-YLCo)

(http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/10/prune-my-passions-of-gardener-of-grace.html)

When I stepped back pruned hearted and changed my perspective... I realized what I was doing, which didn't seem wrong really, was NOT what He wanted, I realized I was hurting him by pushing His plan away. He wanted to spend time with me, but like a child, I was refusing. Just like a kid, I wanted to do it all by myself. I thought I knew better than my father. His ideas take too long! But, a mansion is not built in one day. Nothing good comes fast! If I wanted a good home to live in forever that lasted, would I want it built quickly? What was I rushing, and what was I missing out on? Sometimes a person wants you to love them and spend time with them, but when you refuse them, it is hurtful. You quit asking cause you know you can't MAKE anyone love you. And if you ahve to ASK, the act of them "loving" you seems insincere. So, You have to just patiently sit and wait for them to realize your love. That was what God did.. 

He waited for me while I wouldn't wait for Him. 

I was so mad at myself for refusing His request to spend time with Him intimately. I then remembered when I was married to Shannon and I became recreated in Christ. In the beginning, I wanted so bad to just lock myself in my closet and worship Him in my Secret Place... but I wasn't sure if Shannon would understand. He would wonder where I was. I was not strong enough to explain to him the importance of being ALONE and STILL with Christ. 

At that time, my deepest desire was to just be alone the Father. 

I just wanted CHRIST ALONE!

Well, now, there was no other man here stopping me. 

God was my new husband, and he WANTED ME!

So, that was I waiting for!!!???

 Why was I fighting Him? Why was I running? 

It reminded me of this song by Tenth Avenue North called, By Your Side.

Watch and Listen here ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHgNCj4DU_M

In the same way that you can't MAKE somebody love you, 

You can't MAKE things happen!

If you try to force situations or relationships outside of His plan, you are messing with His masterpiece, conducting His symphony! We cannot teach the Teacher! We cannot out-master the Master.  It will just turn out bringing you shame, rejection, pain, regret, fear, grief, or total heartache. When you realize the mess you made all by yourself, God will lovingly clean it up for you

 all by Himself (it's called Grace)! And while your Savior is on His holy knees cleaning up your mess, sifting through the wrapping paper you just HAD TO tear off, He will not condemn you. That shame you hold... He will hear it like a messy bib and take the blame (it's called the Cross).

 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17

 But in the foolish process.. you lost precious time. In the end, it takes even LONGER than it should have for His plan to work out. We ruin HIS perfect plan by becoming impatient and stubborn. 

So, after I asked my Father and He gave me an answer... I did not listen the first or second time. 

So, now, after wasting some heartache and valuable time, I am here to listen and love.

I am going to rest, let Him lead while I sit in His Presence trusting His plan. 

I will wait for HIS gift. He knows me better than I know myself, He MADE ME! So, He knows what kind of gift I would love. 

HE GIVES PERFECT PRESENTS!

James 1:17

"Every good and perfect gift comes from Him.

 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

Matthew 7:11

Heavenly Father knows how to give good Gifts.

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

HE PROMISES HOPE & FUTURE

Jeremiah 29:11

He promises good things to come from His plan...

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I HEAR HIS VOICE...
Sheep are dumb, ok! They know nothing without guidance. There is no coincidence His word compares us to them. I do better in life when I humble myself and am totally reliant of my Shepard. You cannot hear Him if all you hear is YOURSELF!
John 10:27
 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.…"

HIS WAY BRINGS PEACE, OURS IS FOOLISHNESS.

only a fool follows foolishness. 

Make a mistake once, you are naive and normal. Do it again, you are a FOOL!

Psalm 85:8

"I listen carefully to what God the LORD is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people. But let them not return to their foolish ways."

May God Bless whoever reads this and may my words here bring comfort and knowledge for them to apply to their life and increase their closeness to the Father...

PEACE BE WITH YOU, 

Tabitha, the Lost Sock

MORE RELATED PAST POSTS

 Not wanting to stay still...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/03/hamster-on-wheel-art-and-poetry.html

Wanting to see the Road all at once, but He shows us Brick by Brick

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/08/where-is-my-yellow-brick-road.html

Past BlogPost of His Pupa Vision...

 http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/09/cocoon-of-change.html

 AND

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/09/wrapped-in-stillness-of-him.html

Past BlogPost of Weeding out my Selfish Desires from my heart...

those innocent "idols", forced relationships...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/10/prune-my-passions-of-gardener-of-grace.html

A lonely widow's video ramblings...

my way as an individual of faith dealing with my roller coaster of emotions

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/08/diary-of-young-widow.html

Cocoon of Change...

I have been so anxious (since recently being widowed) to see what God has in store. I knew, even though unexpected, that Shannon's (my husband) death was the will of God. I had a peace that passes understanding and He is comforting me through my grief. I know He is present every second of my day. I know He has plans, but I can't help to roll around on sleepless nights just fantasizing about what is to come. I make up these stories in my head of all kinds of thing that COULD happen. Till a part of me gets restlessly impatient with Him and says, "God, HURRY UP!". Then I have to get back and check and remember that He has his perfect timing. He knows my end and my beginning and how best it is arranged. He makes my path straight and lit for me...

Here is my thoughts on His advice to me...

 

Cocoon of Change...

 

Sit tight and rest in your cocoon

being wrapped in my loving embrace

Allow my warmth to soften you

and let my hands to mold you anew.

What you were before was just the start,

you were content with your belly full of leaves

but now it's time for a change.

Part of life is growing and it requires change,

trust me with the pains that may come from it.

I know you feel the change coming

and are excited for your wings,

but slow your squirming for a while.

Be patient for a bit...

enjoy the miraculous process of what I am doing now.

Breathe deep and soak in my light.

The plans I have require strength, tools, and skills

you have not yet acquired.

So, let me nourish you in this state

and you will be amazed.

Crawl into my cocoon of comfort and let me cradle you

till your every squirm as been relaxed and you fall fast asleep.

I love you so much and can't wait to see

your face when I am through.

Cause that's when you will realize

that I know best for you.

You will see the light more strongly waiting there for you

and the new gifts I will have sewn on you

will help you soar so free.

But for now I want you to close your eyes, rest your fears,

and trust my molding hands.

Be Still, Be Quiet, Be Mine...


Below are previous colore pencil drawings I had created
that relate to the words above...

WIngs to Fly

 

 

 The Maker Molds

Click here to see the poetry to go with the two Jesus Illustrations above...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/p/poetry-by-me.html

 

These below images are pictures from my book,

The Lost Sock

 

Click here to see more of the roller coaster of emotions a widow goes through

while being fastened in with a seat belt of faith...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/08/diary-of-young-widow.html