Pure Honesty right this second...
I was thinking about my late husband, Shannon Seaton, who passed almost 5 moths ago. He left a hole that I am finding hard to fill. I know God gives me peace and comfort, but if I am just being honest here... the hole Shannon left is not gone. Not sure if it will ever be till I see him again in Heaven. Maybe, that's the point. All holes will be filled when we go Home. Maybe it is those holes we have here on earth that drive our vision to Heaven...
I started this blog ONLY because of Shannon. He encouraged me so much creatively. He never denied me in that way. He was my greatest fan and full support. He wanted me to show my art and faith to the world. He was the one that researched differnt blog sites for me and pushed me to start. That is the incredibleness of him. He put my dreams before his own. When I really got into my blog, I would stay up late nights at times and Shannon would go to bed before me just waiting up for me to get done, "I'm almost done", I would say, "Just one second"... seconds later.... "5 more minutes...."... then snores from him. He would try to wait. But he never complained. Even the thrifty fashionista aspect of the LostSock blog... he was the photographer behind the scenes. He WANTED to take pictures of his girls dressed up. He loved to do this on Sundays after church. He was so amazing. I started to feel guilty as I spend time on my blog. I knew Shannon always had the dream of traveling Texas and visiting every burger and BBQ joint in the state and giving his own critique of each one. I started his blog page for him, hoping he would want to do one too.
Shannon loved LaWaffalata
downtown Mineola the most.
He was a man with a big appetite... and this is a "tea room" kinda place.
But this never stopped him. He always left full and happy. It was always the first place he would call on the weekends to see what their specials were. We went to different cites to eat burgers that were on the "Texas Monthly Burger Fame" list.
He said nothing beat the Hangover Burger East Texas Burger had that one New Years Day.
(he was not hung over... just had good taste).
These pictures below were taken by Shannon as I encouraged him to start blogging.
He had excuses not to, but I told him..
"Just start local first, no big commintment, then go from there.".
The "specials" at LaWaffalata.
Our last mean together at LaWaffalata...
never would have known.
My meal on left, the Slider
Shannon's meal on right, the burger special.
Below is Shannon and Maisy
eating at East Texas Burger (joined to LaWaffalata). This is their favorite dinner spot, cause unfortunately, LaWaffalata is not open for dinner. Shannon always wished it was.
This was another burger at LaWaffalata that Shannon took a picture of...
He liked avacado, bacon, and grilled onions on his burger with the jalepenjo cheese bun.
Shannon would always make me run out and check the special board outside LaWaffala to see what they were having, but by the time I would run back to the car, I would forget. So, I got smart one afternoon and just took a picture!
Shannon also loved Kitchen's Hardware and Deli.
If the specials were not so special sounding to him at his first choice,
we would go to the Deli.
He often made reservations on Friday nights here too for our date nights.
He loved thier steak!
Every time we go to Kitchen's for lunch,
Shannon would ask for the "secret sauce".
It is just a kind of horseradish ranch suace the regulars that know about it put on thier saltine crackers. We never knew what it was, but all the old men that come in regularly would have it and one day Shannon just asked what it was and tried it. He asked for it every time after that.
The girls Madelynn and Maisy eating the "secret sauce" on their saltines.
They have kids' menus that you can color on too. Fun for them... and me too.
This was our very last mean at Kitchen's only days before Shannon past.
He never got the nachos but wanted to try somethign new.
His regular was the Shilou Plate.
He was going to do a section in his Beans, Bacon and Chopstick blog
about what I ate. He was fascinated by my food. He always teased me because I ate the oddest things.
This is my cripsy chicken salad with ranch and blue cheese crumbles. Not that weird.
Shannon's Blog... dreams left undone.
I hepled him with the name, made the design. A week before he passed, we ate at a couple of his favorite places downtown Mineola, Texas (our home town). I took pictures of his plate before he ate, posed him fork in hand and even the girls too. I wanted him to want to start blogging. But the passion just was not there for him He dreamed my dreams for me more than his own. I wonder if God made him to dream through me? I don't mean this selfishly... I mean, Shannon was a behind the stage man. He wanted to go unnoticed. He was humble down deep. He loved to see me shine. He revamped a vintage trailor to be my art studio. I never worked in it cause I didn't want to go out away from him to work. So, he moved all the stuff out years later and changed out dinging room we never ate in to my art studio. He never questioned my dreams. I was a grain of sand, he was my clam. I was a lump of coal, he was my mine. He brought out the best in me.
And now i am here.. with my blog... withough him. Still going... still dreaming.
I remember only a few days before he passed, that Friday night we were blessed with a date night to go see a friend act in a play and go eat dinner. Shannon always wanted an old car. That was one dream we had toghether. We promised one day we would do it and stopped road side many times to check out cars and consider. But that night we had our date... He almost broke his neck when he saw an old truck on the side of the road for sale. He pulled over, got out, stood on the side rail, peeked in. He just stood there dreaming. I remember looking at him and thinking, "Man, that is the most handsome Shannon has ever looked, standing there with dreams twinkling in his eyes, all passionate and sexy (sorry)". I did not tell him this though. But the way he lingered there on that truck, dreams in his eyes, passion inside.
But then let it go. Then he walked back to the car so we could drive back home to our little girls and our bed. He let them go... His dreams.
Five days later, he left us to something bigger and grander.
The place that holds all dreams.
That puts life into perspective for me, truly.
What dreams do I have that are not important? Which ones do I need to let go to God?
I know God took Shannon from me, and here I am lonely as i've ever been.
I have dreams not of finding another mate, bruildig another love, hope for a father figure for my girls to grow with. The desire to make new memories and move on to a happier place.
But, then I wonder... are these just dreams of MINE...not dreams of HIs.
What are dreams anyways?
Shannon lived to make my dreams grow and they produce fruit still and give life.
He left a earthly home that was not completed. I am here to finish the work
while he goes on to get things ready for us in our eternal home that will never fall.
His dreams are done. I just wonder if he is cheering us on form the cloud of witnesses.
"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us (loved ones we lost),
let us also lay aside every encumbrance(dreaming dead-end dreams in vain),
and the sin (selfishness) which so easily entangles us and
let us run with endurance the race that is set before us (God's dreams),
fixing our eyes on Jesus (seeing clearly eternity),
the author and perfecter of faith (He wrote our life, beginning to end),
who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."…
Hebrew 12:1
Is he seeing us from the grandstands, a witness from the clouds,
trying to steer us to follow the dreams of eternal value, cheering us on?
I pray that I make the right choices,
and follow the ones that will lead to eternity and branching roads of opportunity
rather than chasing the selfish ones in vain that lead to dead ends.
I pray we all do.
Thank you God for giving me Shannon for 10 years.
Thank you for his encouragement to nurture my creative dreams that magnify your presence.
He was so unselfish to dream through us, just watching from backstage and behing the camera lens...
You are greatly missed my love.
Your Forever Girls
Tabitha, Madelynn, and Maisy
A blog post dedicated to my best friend...
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