I never wanted to be here in this place I am in
dealing with spinning emotions under my skin.
I am pulled from here to there
my duty calls me to motherly care.
I don't have the strength to answer thier cries
when i am laying here weak with tears in my own eyes.
They look at me with such needy faces
I am pulling my strength to fullfill them from the deepest places.
It takes all I have and I am left with only a crumb of my own
I am needing a meal in peace alone.
I am a mother bird with one single worm
feeding these mouths that continually squirm
is taking the breath out of me till I am worn thin and weak
with no strength to hunt for more to feed my own beak.
These days are so long and I hope to wake up
to a new day as fresh as the coffee in my cup.
Where I will realize all this was my dream
as I happily stir in my sweet cream...
But it hasn't happened yet and I know it never will.
My pain is lonliness and there is no healing pill.
I just keep praying for strength and for His way
but I am too tired now to continually pray.
I need to see something of this faith I hold tight,
but it is hard to see anything in this continual night.
I look all around and hope to feel His hand
or just something that will help me understand.
Why did he put me in this predicament,
I need an answer, a breath, just a hint...
It's just too much for me to keep inside
my faith is feeling on the slide...
God show me your love cause I need it right away
I am a boat lost at sea that is starting to sway.
Throw me a rope, let a whale swallow me...
whatever it is... I just want to see.
by Tabitha Seaton
a young widow
I've lost so many loved ones including my mother and brother. Lost my wife, but not the way you did. I know your hurting and it's everything you can do to stay strong for your children. I must admit,I wasn't able to do it. Then again, I didn't have the relationship with my Lord and savior that I do now. I don't have words to make it better, but I can tell you that it's amazing what your doing.life's are being touched all around the world because of you. Please don't lose faith. There is so much good that will come from this. I know that you would trade all that good for your husband back. I know. Just keep pushing forward. One day you'll look back at all the awesome things that have come from this. One day. Thanks so much for sharing your story. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you Nicholas. I love to hear that what I do means something to somebody who needs it. I am so sorry for all your losses, they all carry your grief differently I am sure. I am so glad that you now have that relationship with Christ... it makes ALL the difference to know that they are somewhere better and waiting for us. I know my husband did not abandon me, but more like he is walking ahead and getting things ready for us on the other side. You have blessed me with your encouragement. Keep the faith Nicholas. I am going to keep bloggin' hoping to give hope...
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