I fight my nights with a restless imagination,
and my LONG days are filled with day dreams of silly possible circumstances...
just think think thinking or what is to come.
What is His plan?
What is up his big giant sleeve?
I trust His plan, yes, but... I want to know His plan RIGHT NOW!
So, I was feeling this way for weeks and finally decided that God is not happy with me.
I pray and tell Him what I desire, then He wants me to just let it go to him.
He will either make them come true, or has something better than I imagined.
So, I have felt Him telling me to just rest in Him. He wants me to see this time as a special time to just be with him. He wants me to enjoy and look forward to our intimate quiet time, just as I would with my husband. It should be what I look forward to, what I make time for, and my deepest desire.
When I do get down and rest with Him, it gives my restless heart a deep peace.
I never regret time alone with him, but I do regret it when I don't have it.
When the Lord speaks to my soul, he gives me pictures. He knows how I see and how I learn.
He have me an image of a butterfly pupa, just still and protected. It appears to be doing nothing, but there is a greater change forming inside. Something miraculous is happening that the human eye cannot see. It is a time alone and secret with the Great Creator, the transformer.
He is making me into something new after this great tragedy. I was happily married for 10 wonderful years to my best friend. These were times I was fat in spirit, eating wildly my leaves of happiness. Then all of a sudden, things changed.
I was moved into a different lifestyle in the blink of an eye. Now that my eyes are adjusted to this new light, I can see where God is taking me... but slowly it is revealed.
These Verses have brought great comfort to me in my time of restlessness...
May you be blessed by them too.
2 Corinthians 4:18
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I have had this feeling before, but as a married woman.
Read this post to see how this fast paced world can ruin our spirit...
Hamster on a Wheel, be still...
After my loss of my husband, I was searching for an answer.
I wanted to see my road...
Where is my Yellow Brick Road?
I finally understood the meaning of this place I am in...
as a new single mom, I was feeling totally lost.
But God is Our Compass!
Here you can see my strange stages of grief, ranging from happy to sad, to confused, to lonely, to content...
A journey of a widow is definitely a Roller Coaster!
Diary of a Young Widow.