I don't belong here...

When I was spiritually transformed 5 years ago, my views were also greatly changed. My creative side, my mothering, my teaching, my attitude, my likes, EVERYTHING changed! There was no denying Christ was now residing inside of me. 

 See my Spiritual Autobiography Comic here...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/03/supertab-autobiographical-comic-of-my.html

This changing does not sit still, but grows bigger and stronger as life moves on. Each circumstance, good or bad, just proves validity to His supernatural presence and power more and more in my life. Since my young husband of ten year, Shannon Seaton, unexpectedly passed away 5 months ago, my perspective has changed immensely. I feel as though I am seeing the world we live in from a higher plane, through the eyes of Heaven. Suddenly, things that were so important to me before I let slip by. And things that I let slip by before have become my main desire. Each thing, activity, creation, friendship or even that I am involved in is weighed on a spiritual scale. Does this bring life to me or another person? Does this matter in the end? Does this only lead to vanity or selfish desires? Does this get in the way of His plan for me and my family?

My sight is on Heaven and towards things that last forever. 

I respect honest people more than ever and have a heightened sense of discernment in people's character.

Are my friendships bringing me down, am I lifting others up, or are they leading nowhere? 

I feel as though I have one foot in Heaven, my eternal home and one here on Earth, my temporary home. 

I feel as though my husband did not leave me here in grief, but went ahead of me to renew my hope.

I will meet him again soon, but until I do I have to make the most of this world. I have to fight to show the truth, be kind to those around me, and share His love through my own. 

I am here to love and save, not judge or condemn. 

I don't belong here, but I am here for a reason and will live in His Plan.

I will follow His path to the end. I started it with Him and will end it with Him.

He is the Alpha and Omega, the author and finisher of my life.

I will run this Race of Faith, 

"Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..." Hebrews 12:1-2

If we are truly and sincerely living in Christ, we should have senses that doesn't match up with those of this world. When I am living and walking closely with Christ (a daily practice and honest struggle), I feel like things of this world lose importance. The worldly things are temporary, but normal people greatly vale them (money, fame, luxury, etc.). These things do nothing for our joy or spirit and only temporarily bring us fading happiness. This walk is daily, taking in daily bread (His word), and intimate moments everyday to keep in constant communication with Our Leader. We cannot zone out friends!

 Our head should be in Heaven's clouds... not the worlds smoke and mirrors.

THIS WORLD BELONGS TO SATAN

1 John 5:19

"And we know that we are of God, and the whole world is under the power of the evil one."

I AM AN ALIEN HERE

"Dear friends, I warn you as "temporary residents and foreigners" to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls".

1 Peter 2:11

I AM A CITIZEN OF HEAVEN

"But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior there, the Lord Jesus Christ:"

Philippians 3:20

I DO NOT LOVE THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD... they are temporary.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. 
Matthew 6:19-24

art by Tabitha Seaton

SERVE ETERNITY or FALL FOR THE TEMPORARY

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money"

Matthew 6:24

art by Tabitha Seaton

WHO ARE YOU HERE TO PLEASE... The Creator or His Creation?

"If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet, because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you" 

John 15:19

HIS WORD IS NOT POPULAR!

"I have given them Your word, and the world has hated them because [Your words] are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of this world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world,"

John 17:14

This image below is the one I used for the above
"I don't belong here..." drawing. Awkward!

P.S.
Dear D.H, Brother in Christ.
I do not think of you as a sneaky snake, but a unfortunate frozen friend.
We will continue on the other side, when we get Home.
In His Love and Light,
Tabitha

He is my Souce of Strength & Joy...

 

If I live without plugging in to His word and His presence everyday, 

I wither away. 

The thing is, as a Christian, we are not lost. 

We know the plug is there, sometimes we just choose not to use it. 

In fact, I think we know the power we CAN have... but we are afraid to use it.

We are afraid of the POWER and the SHOCK, afraid that we cannot hold it. 

So, we just live without it.

Romans 8:11

"And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you."

PLUG IT IN AND SHINE OUT!!!

We cannot shine bright in this world and show His light if we do not connect with Him 

and everyday charge our power.

Matthew 5:14-16 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

John 8:12

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

I love my chord. It charges my battery, gives me strength to face another day, keeps me focused on Heaven and it's perspective, and gives me inspiration and motivation. It helps me see the good in others and encourage them. I struggle to plug in sometimes, like everyone. 

But, plug in into HIm is my life!

" True intimacy is my desire...to catch your whisper, to carry your fire.. 
it's my ambition, my soul's true mission, my destination. More than living, more than breathing, it's the reason my heart's beating.There's nothing greater than knowing it,"

Words from True Intimacy from Rend Collective Experiment. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMBjVZ8pJHY

I'm blessed to be different from the world... I stand out, shine bright, point to Him. 

 

This artwork uses simple symbols to communicate my ideas.

This idea was used by Keith Haring and his art holds a special place in my heart. 

SYMBOLIC MEANING

Plug- The True Source, God

X eyes- Supernatural Senses closed

Smile eyes- Supernatural senses opened

Heart- The possibility of the Truest Love

Plug- The spiritual umbilical chord to our Spirit Father. 

LIght- His power shining through His connected child

I teach my kids to use semiotics, like Keith Haring, to communicate their views on life in my classroom. See the lesson here...

http://tabithaannthelostsock.blogspot.com/2012/04/keith-haring-semiotics-posters.html

Thank God... I know the truth.

 

Thank God I Know the Truth

by Tabitha Seaton

  inspired by God's Word and Roy Lichtenstein

 This world is full of fake people, lies, sneaky snakes, wolves in sheep's clothing, users, abuser, bullies, meanies.. (take a breath)... or people that just get scared of being sincere, 

so they just get jaded and lazy.

When you go through a tragedy people show up out of nowhere to be your "friend". 

Some are real, helpful, and stick around even after the storm.

Some were gravitated to you because you were "in the spotlight' and they want some of it for themselves. Only time will tell what kind of "friend" they really are. 

I have learned this the hard way. 

In case you are a new reader, you need to know that 5 months ago 

my wonderful husband  of 10 blessed years, Shannon Seaton, 

passed at the young age of 35 unexpectedly.

In my grieving state... the nights are the hardest.

I look forward to being "alone" after working all day with 100 art students with raging hormones, then coming home to 2 little girls that fight, whine and complain 

(sometimes they are nice though... no, they are really sweet, just take LOTS of energy!).

But when the night does come, and they girls are down... 

things get lonely in a whole new form.

It is hard... challenging... it....SUCKS STINKY SOCKS!

Night after night I am finding myself making a choice.

I can either 

A.) Let Satan steal my joy & fill my head with lies, cry in bed alone feeling sorry for my lonely self,

pig out on a giant tub of cheese puffs and Blue Bell banana pudding ice cream

while tell myself that I am an ugly slobbish loser that is going nowhere but old and wrinkly 

and will never find love or be happy ever again, 

& ignore God cause I am mad at him for all he has taken away.

-OR-

B.) Believe in God's truth, rest under warm cozy blankets with my creamy Chai Tea singing praises and thanks, reading the Promises of Christ, while using my talents to help others see Him more clearly, focus on my blessings, pray for my dreams, think about all God has brought me through so far, and know the truth...

that I am beautifully, intricately, perfectly and wonderfully designed by the master of all creation. 

I am a child of His..

I can believe the lies or know the truth!

Listen to this song, Child of Mine by Mark Schultz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Fnm11TIAU

I will choose to listen to the voice of truth!

Listen to this song, Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaVg0cWkgAw

I have done mostly "B", but a little of "A" as well. I much prefer the "B", because it just feels better.

As a young widow though, I have realized not every night can be a "B". Some nights you have to scream as loud as you can into a pillow, cry out to the dark night, stomp your feet like a toddler, and  just let it go. As long as this is not done for too long or becomes habit, I think it is perfectly natural.

I am doing my best here. I hate being fake. I am the most honest person you will meet.

BUT, here lately I feel like I have to "fake" happy, just to eventually believe it myself. I think it is better to be positive than it is to complain. 

We must speak Life! We must be a light of hope to the hopeless.

Too much of lonely night option "A" will not allow us to do this. 

If we believe His word, it is perfect. God has proven faithful. Go look in the Bible for His promises and test Him to prove it wrong.

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit,” says the LORD Almighty. “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.”

Malachi 3:10-12

 God has never lied or broken a promise! His word is the only thing we can believe. 

It is the only thing that can protect us from lies of the world.

He is my refuge when I feel like this world is a jerk!

He is the only thing I can fully trust...

"Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to him for protection."

Proverbs 30:5 

If you don't understand a promise... TELL HIM!

Ask Him to show you what it means. I have...

He always answers me, but the key is being aware of the clues around you. 

He will never deny you if you ask him a question...

 He will not deny you the answer, He is your FATHER and desires to give you knowledge of His ways.

Luke 11:11-13 
“If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? 
Or if he shall ask for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the holy Spirit to them that ask Him?”

 I just thank God every night, even on the Plan "A" nights after my fit is thrown, 
for the truth of His word. That it is something I can depend on for my future. I know He is taking care of me in my hard times and only His word is the only real place i can find hope. 
I pray that you can turn to Him too and see the truth. 

Go taste the truth of this daily bread and see how sweet it really is...

Psalm 34:8
^"O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him."


FOR MORE of my WIDOW BLOG POSTS... 
go here
http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/08/diary-of-young-widow.html

Perfect Anthem for My LIfe...

Love is in Unexpected Packages...

 

God shows up in the weakest & most unexpected places. 

He is in the lost, lonely, and hopeless ones. 

Nobody expected to find a KING in a dirty hay covered shack.

They were looking a strong man seated on a throne of a castle. 

Of course, that is what is expected. 

God never does what we expect. He is way too creative for that. After all, He created the creators of the most creative things! He is the MASTER of all MASTERS!

His plan is way grander than ours, although grand things may come in the small packages.

The prettiest presents may come in the most boring wrapping paper. 

God is not about big boxes with shiny bows. 

He is not for the rich of this world, but is for the rich at heart.

You have to look low to find Him in the meek and mild...

This in not just referring to His birth...

It's in our lives everyday.

 We imagine life on grand scale, big, bold, colorful, &  loud!

But He plans the opposite of what we expect. He is full of surprises. He outshines our brightest dream.

How boring would that be if He always did everything we imagined?

That makes our imaginations equal or larger than His...

But He created out imaginations, and He is always steps... no...

 LIFETIMES ahead of us!

We cannot out-imagine Him or plan more perfectly than Him. 

Just be still, listen, trust, and follow the Star. 

It will lead you to a quiet, humble, peaceful, wonderful place. 

Have a Blessed CHRISTmas! 

Love, 

tabitha seaton

of TheLostSock

Good Food and Dreams... remembering Shannon.

Pure Honesty right this second...

I was thinking about my late husband, Shannon Seaton, who passed almost 5 moths ago. He left a hole that I am finding hard to fill. I know God gives me peace and comfort, but if I am just being honest here... the hole Shannon left is not gone. Not sure if it will ever be till I see him again in Heaven. Maybe, that's the point. All holes will be filled when we go Home. Maybe it is those holes we have here on earth that drive our vision to Heaven...

I started this blog ONLY because of Shannon. He encouraged me so much creatively. He never denied me in that way. He was my greatest fan and full support. He wanted me to show my art and faith to the world. He was the one that researched differnt blog sites for me and pushed me to start. That is the incredibleness of him. He put my dreams before his own. When I really got into my blog, I would stay up late nights at times and Shannon would go to bed before me just waiting up for me to get done, "I'm almost done", I would say, "Just one second"... seconds later.... "5 more minutes...."... then snores from him. He would try to wait. But he never complained. Even the thrifty fashionista aspect of the LostSock blog... he was the photographer behind the scenes. He WANTED to take pictures of his girls dressed up. He loved to do this on Sundays after church. He was so amazing. I started to feel guilty as I spend time on my blog. I knew Shannon always had the dream of traveling Texas and visiting every burger and BBQ joint in the state and giving his own critique of each one. I started his blog page for him, hoping he would want to do one too.

Shannon loved LaWaffalata

downtown Mineola the most.

He was a man with a big appetite... and this is a "tea room" kinda place.

But this never stopped him. He always left full and happy. It was always the first place he would call on the weekends to see what their specials were. We went to different cites to eat burgers that were on the "Texas Monthly Burger Fame" list.

He said nothing beat the Hangover Burger East Texas Burger had that one New Years Day.

(he was not hung over... just had good taste).

These pictures below were taken by Shannon as I encouraged him to start blogging.

He had excuses not to, but I told him..

 "Just start local first, no big commintment, then go from there.".

The "specials" at LaWaffalata.

Our last mean together at LaWaffalata...

never would have known.

My meal on left, the Slider

Shannon's meal on right, the burger special.

                                                       Below is Shannon and Maisy

eating at East Texas Burger (joined to LaWaffalata). This is their favorite dinner spot, cause unfortunately, LaWaffalata is not open for dinner. Shannon always wished it was.

This was another burger at LaWaffalata that Shannon took a picture of...

He liked avacado, bacon, and grilled onions on his burger with the jalepenjo cheese bun.

Shannon would always make me run out and check the special board outside LaWaffala to see what they were having, but by the time I would run back to the car, I would forget. So, I got smart one afternoon and just took a picture!

Shannon also loved Kitchen's Hardware and Deli.

If the specials were not so special sounding to him at his first choice,

we would go to the Deli.

He often made reservations on Friday nights here too for our date nights.

He loved thier steak!

Every time we go to Kitchen's for lunch,

Shannon would ask for the "secret sauce".

It is just a kind of horseradish ranch suace the regulars that know about it put on thier saltine crackers. We never knew what it was, but all the old men that come in regularly would have it and one day Shannon just asked what it was and tried it. He asked for it every time after that.

The girls Madelynn and Maisy eating the "secret sauce" on their saltines.

They have kids' menus that you can color on too. Fun for them... and me too.

This was our very last mean at Kitchen's only days before Shannon past.

He never got the nachos but wanted to try somethign new.

His regular was the Shilou Plate.

He was going to do a section in his Beans, Bacon and Chopstick blog

about what I ate. He was fascinated by my food. He always teased me because I ate the oddest things.

This is my cripsy chicken salad with ranch and blue cheese crumbles. Not that weird.  

 Shannon's Blog... dreams left undone.

    http://beansbaconchopsticks.blogspot.com/

I hepled him with the name, made the design. A week before he passed, we ate at a couple of his favorite places downtown Mineola, Texas (our home town). I took pictures of his plate before he ate, posed him fork in hand and even the girls too. I wanted him to want to start blogging. But the passion just was not there for him He dreamed my dreams for me more than his own. I wonder if God made him to dream through me? I don't mean this selfishly... I mean, Shannon was a behind the stage man. He wanted to go unnoticed. He was humble down deep. He loved to see me shine. He revamped a vintage trailor to be my art studio. I never worked in it cause I didn't want to go out away from him to work. So, he moved all the stuff out years later and changed out dinging room we never ate in to my art studio. He never questioned my dreams. I was a grain of sand, he was my clam. I was a lump of coal, he was my mine. He brought out the best in me.

And now i am here.. with my blog... withough him. Still going... still dreaming.

I remember only a few days before he passed, that Friday night we were blessed with a date night to go see a friend act in a play and go eat dinner. Shannon always wanted an old car. That was one dream we had toghether. We promised one day we would do it and stopped road side many times to check out cars and consider. But that night we had our date... He almost broke his neck when he saw an old truck on the side of the road for sale. He pulled over, got out, stood on the side rail, peeked in. He just stood there dreaming. I remember looking at him and thinking, "Man, that is the most handsome Shannon has ever looked, standing there with dreams twinkling in his eyes, all passionate and sexy (sorry)". I did not tell him this though. But the way he lingered there on that truck, dreams in his eyes, passion inside.

But then let it go. Then he walked back to the car so we could drive back home to our little girls and our bed. He let them go... His dreams.

Five days later, he left us to something bigger and grander.

The place that holds all dreams.

That puts life into perspective for me, truly.

What dreams do I have that are not important? Which ones do I need to let go to God?

I know God took Shannon from me, and here I am lonely as i've ever been.

I have dreams not of finding another mate, bruildig another love, hope for a father figure for my girls to grow with. The desire to make new memories and move on to a happier place.

But, then I wonder... are these just dreams of MINE...not dreams of HIs.

What are dreams anyways?

Shannon lived to make my dreams grow and they produce fruit still and give life.

He left a earthly home that was not completed. I am here to finish the work

while he goes on to get things ready for us in our eternal home that will never fall.

His dreams are done. I just wonder if he is cheering us on form the cloud of witnesses.

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us (loved ones we lost),
let us also lay aside every encumbrance(dreaming dead-end dreams in vain), 
and the sin (selfishness) which so easily entangles us and
let us run with endurance the race that is set before us (God's dreams),
fixing our eyes on Jesus (seeing clearly eternity),
the author and perfecter of faith (He wrote our life, beginning to end),
who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."…
Hebrew 12:1

Is he seeing us from the grandstands, a witness from the clouds,
 trying to steer us to follow the dreams of eternal value, cheering us on?

I pray that I make the right choices,
and follow the ones that will lead to eternity and branching roads of opportunity

rather than chasing the selfish ones in vain that lead to dead ends.

 I pray we all do.

Thank you God for giving me Shannon for 10 years.
Thank you for his encouragement to nurture my creative dreams that magnify your presence.

He was so unselfish to dream through us, just watching from backstage and behing the camera lens...

You are greatly missed my love.

Your Forever Girls

Tabitha, Madelynn, and Maisy

A blog post dedicated to my best friend...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-best-friend.html

Let Him Lead...

Most of the time my art is a reflection of my heart. My emotions are like a roller coaster lately so the best thing for me to do in my grief is be cath"ART"ic!

I feel... I think... I spew! It keeps me sane. 

I have a horrible habit of overthinking things & letting little things become HUGE things after running through my imagination. My mind is always making "movies" of my life & future that do nothing but lead to false hopes and dreams. Call me crazy or out of control, it's the curse of a creative spirit I guess. My mind is always on the move. But, knowing my flaws well, I choose to switch the track over and get it right in a more positive & productive direction. 

I am disillusioned to believe that my dead-end hopes and dreams will go anywhere under my control. Nothing I envision alone ever turns put how I imagined! So why do I do it? Cause it is entertaining temporarily, but eventually painful. 

So, like I repeat to myself DAILY... 

let Him Lead!!!

I know this! But it sure is hard. But  once I have been let down by my own reality enough times, I realize if I relinquish my dreams to His plan... He has something better planned that is beyond my wildest dreams! I just have to let go of the steering and trust His breath & light to blow my sail & light my way. 

If God is for Us...

 

Art by Tabitha Seaton

I have worked on commission for people needing art in the past and I still do from time to time. 

But, this is not my passion or the legacy I want to leave here. 

One client I worked for in the past confronted me about my art. They warned me not to be so open and free with my ideas. They fearfully thought & warned that people of the world could take advantage and steal my ideas and claim them for their own benefit. 

This may be true... and I thought about it for a few seconds.

But, I feel the Spirit took away all fear of that fairly quickly. 

I felt as though these ideas were from God, He gave them to me. So, it is my duty to unselfishly give them back to my neighbor to further His kingdom.

I should not hoard my ideas away and wait to be discovered...

Since I was saved, I have a new perspective on things, a more eternal outlook. 

I think that if I died tomorrow (which in my life I have found is very unpredictable),

what will matter most? 

Hide your ideas, His word, my light, my Spirit and possibly loose earthly treasure

or

Show my ideas, His word, my light, my Spirit and be promised eternal treasures?

HMMMMMMM... I prefer the second one.

If some person of this world were to "steal my ideas" or take my poems of faith and use them as their own, that would be hypocritical anyways. Why would a person steal God's words? These 2 things do not sit parallel together.  If a person stole something of mine that I made for Him, then they are stealing from God... therefor, He will judge. I will probably never know they did, but He will.

"If God is for Me, who can be against me?" 

He is my lawyer, He rules supreme, and It is His decision that will be the last.

So, knowing this, claiming it as truth, I am not afraid or worried about this 

AT ALL!

I am not selfish with my art that applies to my faith because in in reality, it is not mine... it is His. 

The whole purpose it to take what God gave me and pass it around to help others.

God's word is FILLED with this perspective as a Commandment!

If His desire for me is to be a fisher of men,

I using my art as my bait...

and I am not about to ask those fish for money!

  

People are always saying, "You should sell this" or "you forgot to sign this". 

I do not do work for the purpose of selling 

(although if somebody insists or initiates, I will consider). 

I really just create my faith art as a means of personally connecting myself (or others in turn) to Christ. Creating is my main way of worship. When I create, I get "in the zone". My mind disappears to another place where I lose track of my surroundings 

(time, stress, eating, others and myself really).

These are physical things that I escape. I move to the Spirit Realm. 

This is how we are told to worship Him...

John 4:24

"God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth."

Spirit is unseen, not of this world. So we must make our minds leave HERE to get THERE

so we can SEE HIM with the eyes of our hearts.

I am not looking for money or fame or anything of this world that will not last. 

 Isaiah 40:8 

"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever."

If I do not want to get "paid" by this world for what I share, 

because the prize I receive here will wither when I leave.

 Matthew 6:19-21

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

 2 Corinthians 4:18

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 

I encourage you  

to find your way of "worship".

What gets you "lost". 

What makes you forget the world?

If you don't know, pray for God to reveal it to you, or give you something.

When you find it, use it to glorify Him. 

Let Him steal your show!

Cause I know, "I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul". 

Listen to "Lose My Soul" by Toby Mac

here on YouTube VEVO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coHKdhAZ9hU&list=PL5A5A54FBA6C75816 

 see also

Also, Kari Jobe's "You are for Me" YouTube video/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSMfL5LuSo

Always Kiss Goodnight, Ephisians 4:26

Ephesians 4

"26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down on your wrath,... 

32 and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you."

Communication is the most important thing in a marriage. When you communicate, you respect the others' feelings. Even if you are communicating something that is wrong, you are still communicating.  In my walk of faith and marriage, I have learned 1 thing:

If I cannot talk to my husband or my Heavenly Father,

 then there is something I am holding back or hurt by... and it needs to be addressed ASAP!

Because, if the flow of communications stops, the relationship dwindles.

There were times in my 10 years of marriage, that I needed to tell Shannon something that was eating me up inside, but I fought it. When the night came, I just could not sleep without telling him. There were times in our marriage where one of us was doing something very wrong, and it was not talked about for a long long time. This made a giant hole in the marriage. 

Finally, when it came to the light,

 it took longer to heal because it took longer to reveal.

It was slept on too many nights!

I remember Shannon and I had an old headboard with a big piece of wood on it and we did not really like it. We wanted to carve this phrase into the wood to remind us every night that if we could not kiss, then we were doing something wrong. Whether it was pride of who won an argument, or one fell asleep without the other because one wanted to stay up late and watch television, or one ate too many onions! Whatever... There were some times we stayed up too late in bed just talking and talking and both of us fell asleep without a kiss. I think that is excusable though. But, If you pretty much practice this rule, things are good. Just be careful for the kisses not to be insincere and ritualistic. These can hide things.

This same rule goes for our relationship with Christ. No, we cannot "kiss" him, but a kiss is a physical act of showing love. So, a spiritual act of showing love is prayer and time with God. If we cannot do these things, then there is an error in the relationship that needs to be addressed ASAP! Or else, your walk and relationship with Him is slowly dwindling. This problem will lead to many many other problems in your life! It will effect every area. The Bible says in Matthew 6:33

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." So apposed the that, if we do not seek Him first, all these things will be subtracted unto you!

Also, the Bible says the GREATEST COMMANDMENT is “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind".. Luke 10:27. So, he is Commanding us to Love Him first, our "kiss" for him every night is to talk with Him, lay it all down.  

The bedroom is a sacred place. It is a place of rest and intimacy all at one time. We cannot do either one without the other. We cannot love our spouse fully and properly without first loving the One that made us for each other and joined us together. How can you ignore that? 

Being Patience for His Gifts... my first Christmas as a young widow.

This will be our first Christmas without having Shannon here.

My husband, Shannon, passed away almost five months ago and I have been dreading Christmas since. He LOVED Christmas.

As a woman of faith, hope set in very soon after Shannon past. Instead of looking back, I looked forward. Although I was missing Shannon, I was looking forward to what God had planned for us. His plan was a total mystery to me. Why did He take Shannon? Why now? These were not questions rooted in doubt or hate, but mystery, curiosity and excitement. I could not even understand my own emotions because to this natural world, they seem odd. Even to me, a woman of faith, I questioned my grief. Was I doing it right? How was I excited so soon into it all? I still do not know, except for the fact that I have a close connection to Christ. When I found Shannon on the lawn where he passed, I felt a flood of peace run over me as I prayed in the Spirit over him. I think this was a gift God gave me. That is all I can give as an explanation. The world may think I am heartless to be so accepting & understanding soon after my husband passed, but it's MY grief. 

Through my experience, it's not lacking heart...it is more like 

GOD HAS MY HEART and HE GIVES ME PEACE.

After about a month, I began to be very anxious about my future. 

I wrote many blog post about this feeling and made many videos about it as well (see below). 

It was intense! I was a little worried about being alone FOREVER and having to be single. 

I was dependent on Shannon for SO MUCH! He spoiled me with love, encouragement, care, cleaning, cooking, bills, and lots more for us as a family. He worked hard and now it was me having to take all I knew (very little) and all my strength to work, raise my family, and keep up with all life requires. I was not used to being in charge!

I was lost... and incredibly lonely. 

I wanted to have something happen NOW! I knew I wanted to follow His plan, but kept asking Him to hurry it up! I "hear" God's voice often. This is because I open up to Him regularly, not matter what the circumstance or mood I may be in.  Like a loving father, When I would question His ways... He would give me a wise answer. He began showing me in my mind a caterpillar entering a pupa state and resting. I understood what He meant, tried to rest up and let Him transform me, but it was not fun... it was lonely. I wanted to move, have excitement, look forward to something, LIVE! I did not really like the idea of being a fat lazy caterpillar, so I kinda ignored this Heavenly vision. I still asked God, hoping for a different answer. The second time, He showed me a beautiful lit up Christmas tree in the corner of our living room with Shannon's green lounge chair stretched a distance away. The tree was fixed up just like Shannon would have set it up if he were here. God showed me the presents beneath and told me they were the gifts He promised me for our future. He let me know that he DID have big plans for me and my family. But, that for now, He wanted me to not worry about them and focus on the moment at hand. I could wonder and be excited, but not worry or try to impatiently plan my own gifts. He told me that even if I did open the gifts now, I would not be able to use, appreciate, or understand them. He has to teach me slowly all His ways before I can comprehend his plan and the gifts it contains. He told me that instead of sitting by the tree waiting, there was a way to make it "faster". He wanted me to sit with Him in Shannon's green chair and just look at the tree with Him. Just be still, peaceful, and talk to Him while we waited... together. I did like this idea better than the caterpillar... But still, my Heavenly Father was not giving His spoiled little girl the answer she wanted... 

I don't want to SIT STILL! I want it my way and fast! 

(Verruca Salt style)

So, I guess you could say I somewhat ventured on my own to find ways to "fill" my desires. Filling my life with things that made me temporarily happy and less lonely. Unknowingly, these things became my "God" and a lesser form of Idolatry. When I left His will. I left Him for a bit. I was not talking to Him anymore. Or, when I tried, it was just awkward and insincere. I had no peace. 

So, I prayed my pruning prayer... a prayer I often do when I am seriously seeking His will.

see here...

Video and Past Blog Post

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDoF_x-YLCo)

(http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/10/prune-my-passions-of-gardener-of-grace.html)

When I stepped back pruned hearted and changed my perspective... I realized what I was doing, which didn't seem wrong really, was NOT what He wanted, I realized I was hurting him by pushing His plan away. He wanted to spend time with me, but like a child, I was refusing. Just like a kid, I wanted to do it all by myself. I thought I knew better than my father. His ideas take too long! But, a mansion is not built in one day. Nothing good comes fast! If I wanted a good home to live in forever that lasted, would I want it built quickly? What was I rushing, and what was I missing out on? Sometimes a person wants you to love them and spend time with them, but when you refuse them, it is hurtful. You quit asking cause you know you can't MAKE anyone love you. And if you ahve to ASK, the act of them "loving" you seems insincere. So, You have to just patiently sit and wait for them to realize your love. That was what God did.. 

He waited for me while I wouldn't wait for Him. 

I was so mad at myself for refusing His request to spend time with Him intimately. I then remembered when I was married to Shannon and I became recreated in Christ. In the beginning, I wanted so bad to just lock myself in my closet and worship Him in my Secret Place... but I wasn't sure if Shannon would understand. He would wonder where I was. I was not strong enough to explain to him the importance of being ALONE and STILL with Christ. 

At that time, my deepest desire was to just be alone the Father. 

I just wanted CHRIST ALONE!

Well, now, there was no other man here stopping me. 

God was my new husband, and he WANTED ME!

So, that was I waiting for!!!???

 Why was I fighting Him? Why was I running? 

It reminded me of this song by Tenth Avenue North called, By Your Side.

Watch and Listen here ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHgNCj4DU_M

In the same way that you can't MAKE somebody love you, 

You can't MAKE things happen!

If you try to force situations or relationships outside of His plan, you are messing with His masterpiece, conducting His symphony! We cannot teach the Teacher! We cannot out-master the Master.  It will just turn out bringing you shame, rejection, pain, regret, fear, grief, or total heartache. When you realize the mess you made all by yourself, God will lovingly clean it up for you

 all by Himself (it's called Grace)! And while your Savior is on His holy knees cleaning up your mess, sifting through the wrapping paper you just HAD TO tear off, He will not condemn you. That shame you hold... He will hear it like a messy bib and take the blame (it's called the Cross).

 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17

 But in the foolish process.. you lost precious time. In the end, it takes even LONGER than it should have for His plan to work out. We ruin HIS perfect plan by becoming impatient and stubborn. 

So, after I asked my Father and He gave me an answer... I did not listen the first or second time. 

So, now, after wasting some heartache and valuable time, I am here to listen and love.

I am going to rest, let Him lead while I sit in His Presence trusting His plan. 

I will wait for HIS gift. He knows me better than I know myself, He MADE ME! So, He knows what kind of gift I would love. 

HE GIVES PERFECT PRESENTS!

James 1:17

"Every good and perfect gift comes from Him.

 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

Matthew 7:11

Heavenly Father knows how to give good Gifts.

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

HE PROMISES HOPE & FUTURE

Jeremiah 29:11

He promises good things to come from His plan...

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I HEAR HIS VOICE...
Sheep are dumb, ok! They know nothing without guidance. There is no coincidence His word compares us to them. I do better in life when I humble myself and am totally reliant of my Shepard. You cannot hear Him if all you hear is YOURSELF!
John 10:27
 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.…"

HIS WAY BRINGS PEACE, OURS IS FOOLISHNESS.

only a fool follows foolishness. 

Make a mistake once, you are naive and normal. Do it again, you are a FOOL!

Psalm 85:8

"I listen carefully to what God the LORD is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people. But let them not return to their foolish ways."

May God Bless whoever reads this and may my words here bring comfort and knowledge for them to apply to their life and increase their closeness to the Father...

PEACE BE WITH YOU, 

Tabitha, the Lost Sock

MORE RELATED PAST POSTS

 Not wanting to stay still...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/03/hamster-on-wheel-art-and-poetry.html

Wanting to see the Road all at once, but He shows us Brick by Brick

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/08/where-is-my-yellow-brick-road.html

Past BlogPost of His Pupa Vision...

 http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/09/cocoon-of-change.html

 AND

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/09/wrapped-in-stillness-of-him.html

Past BlogPost of Weeding out my Selfish Desires from my heart...

those innocent "idols", forced relationships...

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/10/prune-my-passions-of-gardener-of-grace.html

A lonely widow's video ramblings...

my way as an individual of faith dealing with my roller coaster of emotions

http://thelostsocklife.blogspot.com/2013/08/diary-of-young-widow.html